I've never bothered to argue against the charge that opposition to same-sex marriage, or disapproval of homosexual activity in general, constitutes "hate," "bigotry," and so on. One reason is that it's so ridiculous. I tend to think that most of those making the charge recognize, somewhere deep in their hearts, that it's irrational. I even speculate that an intimation from their own consciences that they're not being entirely honest accounts for some of the ferocity with which they make it.
I find it hard to take the charge seriously, because I experience its absurdity directly. I have direct and certain knowledge of my own feelings, and I know I don't hate or even dislike homosexuals. As a matter of fact, if I have any discernible tendency toward them, male or female, it's toward liking them. As a mild-mannered bookish male, with a decided deficiency of machismo, I've always been something of a misfit, and tend to be more comfortable with others who don't fit in. I have in common with a lot of gay men a relative lack of interest and aptitude for masculine things like sports, and a great interest in books and music. Like everyone, I've known, worked with, and been on friendly terms with, a number of homosexuals over the years, including one very close friendship, and simply have never felt anything approaching animosity toward them based on their sexuality. Puzzlement as to why they are sexually attracted to their own sex, yes; animosity, no.
However, I do think homosexual acts are wrong. A great many sexual acts are wrong, and we are all to some degree "objectively disordered," to use the Vatican phrase that so angers many homosexuals. I will say, too, that many of the specific acts involved in homosexuality, especially between males, are distasteful to say the least to me. Moreover, I think marriage between two men or two women is a logical contradiction, which is to say that I think it's inherent in the definition and concept of marriage that it involves opposite sexes.
These admissions, I know are enough to convict me of "hate," "bigotry," and "homophobia" (that last word being a bit of cant which no one who cares about language and truth should use) in the eyes of gay rights activists and their allies. I'm under no illusions about how much credence or moral credit my insistence that I don't hate will be given; I only want to say it publicly for the record.
Because I know I don't hate homosexuals, and have never seen any evidence that any Christians whom I know personally hate homosexuals, I tend to discount the idea entirely. But no doubt hatred does exist (apart from the clearly disturbed Westboro Baptist group). I do run across some hostile and derogatory stuff in comments on blogs and news sites, though most of it doesn't strike me as being at the level of animosity that I would describe as hate. But as we experience more hostility and contempt from the other side, the impulse to react in kind is going to grow. That's where it seems to me that the struggle against the inclination to hate will be fought for most Christians. God doesn't give us any choice about fighting it.
Light On Dark Water 
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