Do not mess with the Jimmy Dean Sausage fan (warning: contains quite vulgar language). Thanks to Janet for this. I had to wipe away the tears of laughter before I could post it.
See, I grew up with people like this, so he's not some exotic crazy to me. In fact I work with a woman who could have made this speech.
We were in tears laughing at this, a Texan colleague and me.
As for your 16 oz. Maple and Sage Sausage. I don’t eat that. I’m not from the North. I’m a southern man.”
AMDG
Yeah, I loved that line.
Glad you’re able to appreciate this, Francesca. I know for a fact that there are folks like this in Indiana, too.
I loved the lines about the Maple and Sage. Also about his wife, ‘she’s plump’, and the combined weight of him and his brother (600 pounds). I had the feeling this guy identified so deeply with this southern sausage that he would not in fact be able to give it up.
I think 600 pounds was actually the total of 3 guys, not 2. Still pretty good sized. I think it’s the guy himself, two sons, one daughter, and wife.
He’s not any sort of crazy at all – that’s a perfectly legitimate complaint. Although it is odd that he gets foul-mouthed with his family after he thinks he’s hung up the phone. Clearly he was exercising what was for him unusual restraint when speaking into the receiver.
That’s right Mac, I listened it to again. They’re two hundred pounds apiece, he says. I wondered if the other male to whom he refers as ‘your brother’ might be a brother-in-law – ie, he would be speaking to his wife.
“…it is odd that he gets foul-mouthed with his family after he thinks he’s hung up the phone. Clearly he was exercising what was for him unusual restraint…”
Exactly. The effort is not in cleaning up his language for the family circle, but for the presumably more refined folks at Jimmy Dean Sausage. That’s just the way they talk. And I can tell you from much experience that it rubs off on one very quickly and easily.
by the way, if anyone remembers, this Jimmy Dean is the same one who recorded “Big John” many years ago. Video
Yeah, that’s possible too, Francesca (“your brother” addressed to his wife).
I didn’t think he sounded exactly crazy, Paul, but maybe a bit dotty. I thought the clip is funny because it is universally true (sorry to be portentious) in its very dottiness. The thing is, the things he says and his concerns are utterly disproportiate to the interest of the person at the other end of the phone line at this sausage meat factory. The person at the sausage meat factory, and their bosses to whom the message is intended to be relayed, don’t care how many sons or daughters he has, or how much they weigh, or whether he has eggs for breakfast. He’s telling them all kinds of information which is very important to himself, but trivial and uninteresting to his intended audience. We all do this, or at least I do. I was trying to explain to the (Scottish) Procurator Fiscal’s Office on the phone the other day that I can’t make the court hearing about my mugging because I’m going to America, and I went on about how I’d delayed moving to America to be at the first hearing then it was cancelled because the perpetrator went AWOL, and how now I’d be moving, but was willing to address them by Skype, and so on, and all they wanted to know was the fact that I’d not be there, full-stop. Plus, he evidently loves this product (he could go back to eating some other sausage, but it would be ‘less tasty’), and somehow identifies with it, as a Texan or southerner, whereas, to the manufacturer, it’s a product they are selling people. He ends up sounding like he’s not going to be capable of carrying out his threat, because he likes this one so much with the eggs and the T-bone steak. Plus, supposing, I don’t know, but for a hazard, Jimmy Dean’s has 5000 customers, they simply don’t care if they lose one customer. So everything he says is disproportionate to the interest of the person on the other end of the line, and, what’s funny, especially since we all get into this state from time to time, he is entirely unaware of it. And I’d call that dotty, yes, though not ‘crazy’.
Plus, as many people point out in the comments below, the logic is flawed. Yes, it is horrible to cut the size of a product by 25% and leave the price the same. One would prefer the less slimey practice of putting the price up by 25%, if it’s necessary. But it would not be impossible for him to buy two 12 ounce sausages and keep some back for the next day, or freeze it if he only eats this breakfast once a week. As a single person weighing I don’t know how much but certainly ‘plump’, I buy all kinds of things I can’t eat at one go, and freeze part of them.
I’m sure he would say it’s the principle of the thing.
I emailed this to my wife (& other family members), and her reaction was somewhat similar to your 3:31 comment (do you see the same timestamp as we do?–it was probably more 10:31(pm) for you). She thought it was funny but also a bit sad: the lone human voice crying out fruitlessly to the machine. I expect it’s been a long time since Jimmy Dean had much to do with Jimmy Dean Sausage (I mean, apart from the fact that he died a year or two ago.)
By the way, I think the Maple & Sage sounds pretty dodgy, too.
I expect it’s been a long time since Jimmy Dean had much to do with Jimmy Dean Sausage (I mean, apart from the fact that he died a year or two ago.)
Oh my goodness, Maclin, I don’t think you meant this to imply what it seems to imply, but I’m about to choke to death on my popsicle.
AMDG
I have to plead sort of guilty. I didn’t intend it as I was composing the sentence, but I saw it when I read it before posting, and mischievously left it that way. I wondered if anybody would react.
I’m really glad you didn’t change it. I needed a good laugh.
AMDG
Flippin’ brilliant. I’ve got some co-workers, women mostly, who could match that in the most provincial SW Pa. “yinzer” accent you ever heard.
I was thinking that this man sounds a lot like Jimmy Dean–at least before he hangs up.
AMDG
That’s true, he does.
Rob, I guess it’s a class thing. I’ve wondered if it might have gotten started or at least gotten a good push from men coming back from the military after WWII. I remember years ago (over 30) working in a computer facility with a guy who had been in the Navy. An electrician was looking at some piece of equipment and observed not that it was worn out but that “this son of a bitch is used all to shit.” My co-worker said “He’s probably been in the Navy.” And he had. Still, I suspect it pre-dates that.
Well, the sort of language it encouraged in young men from the general population was one of the arguments against conscription in the 19th century.
That’s fascinating. A hazard of the trade, I guess.
Some years ago, in the early 1980s, a friend told me that he had picked up the use of bad language when working in the Texas oil fields. He said it just became a habit of cussing without thinking. He tried out for the priesthood and was turned down. He was very lucky, about his habit, because the order he tried out for was the Legionnaries of Christ!
There’s a great line No Country for Old Men: “You never know what worse luck your bad luck saved you from.” In this case, your friend has been able to find out.
I expect it’s been a long time since Jimmy Dean had much to do with Jimmy Dean Sausage (I mean, apart from the fact that he died a year or two ago.)
I really did LOL!
Light On Dark Water 
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